Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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