That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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