I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
