I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
