I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
