Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
