singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
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like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
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im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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