god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
