Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
