how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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