No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
