So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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