I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
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Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
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We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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