Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
