fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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