at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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