On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
