I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
