just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
