he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
