Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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