I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
