Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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