hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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