his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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