I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
