brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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