sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
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My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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