I think I just saw someone hide a body.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
