I wish my penis had an off switch
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think your dad took our porno
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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