I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
