currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Someone signed my nipple.
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