u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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