Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
