Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
