i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
