If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
