420 ftw
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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