He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
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My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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