whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize