yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
