I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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