ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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