he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
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I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
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Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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