If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
