I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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