today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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