You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
