we're blogging at a bar
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize