I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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