pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize