Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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