Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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