you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
