no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
