i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
