dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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