So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
