I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
