he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
