Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
